STUCK ON YOU AND EVERYTHING ELSE

Someone in Guangdong China must be quite a practical joker!

I purchased a blouse, brought it home, and discovered an anti-shop-lifting device hanging from the sleeve. I knew that the only way to remove the “gator tag” was to either cut off the sleeve or return to the store. The magnetic strips on the tag were supposed to set off alarms, but obviously, this time, the electronic surveillance thingemajig hadn’t worked. It was made in Guangdong.

When I approached the saleslady, she removed the tag, and accusingly said, “How come the alarm didn’t go off when you left the store?” “Beats me,” I responded. “Maybe you should have your exit door removed.”

Electronic article surveillance was established in 1998, but it is a benign annoyance compared to those little plastic wire price tags that are attached to
most articles that can be clamped, hooked or bolted. They are fastened with an “Attacher Tagging Gun,” which is another argument for gun control. Most of the time, I end up cutting off only half of the tag, and then the other end of the plastic barb hides somewhere in an article of clothing, only to emerge, and then prick me at a most inopportune time, in a most unreachable part of my anatomy.

However, most aggravating of all, are the brand stickers on my fruits and vegetables. These little fellows contain the PLU (price look up) codes for the convenience of store clerks. This helps them so they won’t have to distinguish between red and green apples, and deciphers how the fruit was grown.

This technology was developed by an affiliate of the Produce Marketing Association. So, why, with all of this fancy numbering and sticking, didn’t any of those smart people figure out a way to remove the infuriating stickers from my tomatoes? I can vouch for the fact that they aren’t edible. When I inquired about sticker removal, it was suggested that I soak my fruit in warm water. I don’t even do that with my socks! The upside is that, if I can remove them, I can make a fashion statement by wearing banana stickers as tattoos.

My biggest gripe is the gluing of price tags on books. I love books and do not want anything adhered to them other than my opinion. And, it was suggested that I use lighter fluid to remove those sticky tags off the bottom of plastic cups. Common! Lighter fluid?

Esther Blumenfeld (I give up. The apple wasn’t so good, but the price tag was delicious)