LIKE THIS IS LIKE WHAT IT'S LIKE

A few weeks ago, I was listening to an award-winning interviewer on NPR (National Public Radio) and she used the expression, “My bad.” The next morning, once again, those two words showed up in the newspaper comic strip, Zits. “My bad,” it seems, is the new, ”I’m sorry.”

In 1887, Thomas Hardy wrote, in The Mayor of Casterbridge, “The universe likes nothing better than change.” I’d venture a guess that most teenagers haven’t read, The Mayor of Casterbridge, but they certainly like change---especially when it involves the English language. We used to call it “slang,” but now I think it is a linguistic revolution brought about by modern technology. Kids are better with computers than most adults, and have finally found a way to communicate without “POS” (parents over shoulder).

Some people will think that this creativity is “sick” (awesome, cool, or surprising), but it just leaves me “SMH” (shaking my head). My 15-year-old friend down the block would say, “Don’t get ‘salty’ (bad attitude) on me, while telling me that my new shoes are “ill” (great, cool). Recently, I asked her, “How is your new teacher?” And she replied, “He’s so fly.” That is good. But she had to cut our conversation short, because she wasn’t wearing a sweater, and the weather had gotten “dumb” (very) cold. She also said, “I have to go do my homework, so I won’t be put under ‘house arrest’ (grounded).

I don’t want to be “Old Testament” (old school) about all of this, nor do I want to “Nancy Drew” (over-analyze) it, but sometimes it’s “OBVI” (obvious) that I’m a bit “Jell-y” (jealous) when I try to communicate with kids, and I find that my efforts are on “Epic Fail” (task meant to be easy but isn’t).

Last night was “Flop” (didn’t work out). I was supposed to go to dinner with a friend, but she “flopped” on me. She’s such a “flop!” Then I got invited to a “Kickback” (a small party). Everyone was “uberklempt ” (excited) about the pizza, but the delivery was a “Big Fail Mary” (did not go as planned). The order was “jacked up” (messed up), and everyone thought that anchovies with pineapple tasted “rank” (gross).

Luckily, I had brought my camera, and had the “brillaz” (brilliant) idea to take a picture of the group. Unfortunately, it was a “fail” (failure) because the pizza delivery guy got in the way and caused a “photobomb” (ruined the picture).

Maybe because I exposed their secret language, teens will think I’m a “Hater” (assume I am ruining their lives on purpose). If they believe that, they are “pwned” (pronounced owned, and means, someone has proven you wrong). Because, by the time you read this article, I have already become a “n00b” (someone who doesn’t have knowledge of words for teens that are popular this week). For you purists, “n00b” is spelled correctly.

So read it and weep, or LOL (laugh out loud).

Esther Blumenfeld (my spell check just had a nervous breakdown)