MAYBE TOMORROW

It’s a statistical fact that over 30% of all tax filers wait until April 15th to file their taxes. All of us are familiar with procrastination. Webster defines it: “to put off from day to day; to defer; postpone.” When asked about procrastination, Robert Benchley said, “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.”

Over 600 books have been written to help people snap out of putting off until tomorrow what needs to be done today, and some people have even made careers by becoming, “anti-procrastination coaches.” I guess they dismiss all excuses until the guilty “feel the burn.” Psychologists have dealt with “stress guilt crisis,” and “student syndrome.”

Who hasn’t heard someone say, “I do my best under pressure.” They never add that drinking 12 cups of coffee and eating a peck of pickled energy bars is part of the equation. People who procrastinate have excellent excuses, but the truth is always lurking in there somewhere:

“It was recommended I avoid stress.” (So you didn’t go to class.)
“I was distracted.” (Video games are distracting.)
“Things happened beyond my control.” (Cats do throw hairballs—even into computers.)
“The task was trivial.” (If you don’t go to the dentist, your gums will reject your teeth.)
“I am a person who needs no sleep.” (Let’s pretend.)

So what are some reasons why people stall, postpone or as the Scots put it,
“let a-be?” Sometimes people are faced with an overwhelming task. Often it is also an unpleasant task such as drinking slop to prepare for a colonoscopy or a forthcoming family reunion---which can sometimes bring on the same reaction.

Being a perfectionist and fearing failure can also encourage people to “put it off,” “let it slide,” or simply “ignore it.” Unfortunately, most of the time,” It,” won’t just go away. Waiting for Providence is a very long wait, and the grass growing under one’s feet can soon become a meadow.

I don’t understand procrastinators, because I am the opposite. When assigned a task, I do it immediately, and am notoriously known for sending birthday cards a week before the person was even born. I arrive on time for appointments, and sometimes early for a really good party. Interestingly, although there are many descriptions and definitions for procrastination, it seems as if the linguists could not agree on an antonym for people like me. When I told a friend about this strange phenomenon, she said, “They probably never got around to it.”

The best definitions I could find in English Language Usage are “antecrastination (Latin inverse) or “proactive.” I guess I’ll have to settle for “Do it now.”

For me, Annie (who had a musical named after her) would sing:

“Just thinkin’ about Tomorrow clears away the cobwebs---”

But she was a fickle little girl, because the rest of her song is meant for all of you procrastinators out there:

“Tomorrow, Tomorrow.
I love ya Tomorrow!
You’re always A day A way!”

Esther Blumenfeld (Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday—Don Marquis)