THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NIGHT AND DAY

I love the morning air, unless I am in rush hour traffic. Morning is my favorite time of day. However, in the summer, I wish it would arrive a few hours later.

Being a morning person is a great advantage when living in the Arizona dry desert climate, because if it’s 75 degrees at 5:00 a.m., it will be 30 degrees hotter at noon. So that’s why I try to beat the sunrise and walk my two miles in the mountains very early. At 6:00 a.m. I know I am awake, because my bed is made and I’m not in it.

Ellen Goodman said, “Most people do not consider dawn to be an attractive experience---unless they are still up.” She must have been a night person. My friend, and former co-author, Lynne is a night person. She does her most creative work long after mid-night. Whenever we would have an early morning business meeting, she would accuse me of being “perky.” She hated perky. What can you expect from a person who keeps the same hours as owls, crickets, frogs and wolves?

The only time I could fake being a night person was when I visited my son in New York City. The three-hour time difference traveling east made me look good. At 2:00 a.m. his friends would say, “It’s amazing that your mom can party so late.” He never told them that it took me a week to recuperate when the hours were reversed after returning home. The only good thing about being a night person is that if you go to bed at 4:00 a.m., you only have to brush your teeth once.

Yes, in the summer I get going extremely early, and by 3:00 p.m. I have already been up for 10 hours. Then it is well–advised to take a nap. Even the hyperactive Martha Stewart catnaps now and then, but she says that she thinks while napping, so not to waste any time. Sometimes when I am baking, I think I also catnap, because I forget there’s a cake in the oven---but then I am no Martha Stewart.

I credit my napping ability to my Kindergarten teacher, because on my report card she wrote, “Esther is a bad rester.” She probably needed a nap. In those days, I didn’t enjoy that activity, so I scooted my nap rug next to my little boyfriend and bothered him. If it’s any consolation, I took her admonition to heart, a couple of years ago. However, I do take credit for encouraging her poetic skills---limited as they were.

So the moral of this tale is that if you are a day person you can take a nap, but if you are a night person, you can’t take a nap because people will think you are going to sleep.

Esther Blumenfeld (“A day without sunshine is like; you know, night.”) Steve Martin

STARTING OVER

There’s an old Chinese proverb that says, “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” It means that beginnings aren’t easy, and that every journey in life has to start somewhere. I don’t know where the expression, “new beginnings” comes from, because I have never experienced an old beginning.

You can put the past behind you, but as far as I know, you can’t put it ahead of you, because then you won’t know if you are coming or going. Usually a beginning comes after something ends.

When New Year’s Eve rolls around, people drink toasts to the end of the old year--- and then they toast in the new. Often, they resolve to do something better than they did the year before. However, after all of those toasts, the next day usually begins with something such as “Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Starting anew is an adventure. A baby gets the courage to take that first step when he gets bored with just crawling around. Beginnings present challenges—some are exciting and some downright scary, but dancing backwards through life just doesn’t work unless you have eyes in back of your head.

Some beginnings come from a decision to end something else---or fate makes the decision for us. When a door closes, you can’t open it again. You only think you can with selective memory. When someone says, “I miss the good old days,” I usually reply, “So you miss the Black Plague and the Inquisition?”

Sally Ber said, “The secret to getting ahead is getting started.” Of course with some people the problem arises that they have to take themselves along for the ride.

All I know is that if you wait for the perfect moment, you’ll never get started---you’ll never begin—and if you don’t begin, you’ll never get to where you need to go. Just ask any crawling baby.

Esther Blumenfeld (Inertia is a non starter)

WHO WAS THAT MASKED MAN ANYWAY?

When I was a little girl, my mother read me the grim story of Hansel and Gretel written by brothers of the same name, except theirs had an extra “m,” because there were two of them. She read me that story several times in order to warn me not to wander off or talk to strangers.

Today, I do tend to wander about, but never “off.”  However, talking to strangers is one of my favorite activities, since they are often a source for humorous material. Also, I remember that The Lone Ranger was a stranger who used to ride into town when no one else had a good story to tell. Of course, I am rather selective about the people with whom I engage in conversation, and judiciously avoid old crones who live in sugar candy cottages in the middle of a scary forest.

People are only strangers until you talk to them. My mother-in-law had a friend who sat next to a young woman at O’Hare Airport in Chicago. While waiting for their plane, they began to chat, and my mother-in-law’s friend took a liking to the personable young woman. As, she prepared to board the plane, she said to her new friend, “My son lives in Chicago. Would it be okay, if I gave him your telephone number?” “Sure,” said the young woman, and my mother-in-law’s friend turned a stranger into her daughter-in-law, and they resumed their conversation for 40 more years.

I used to volunteer for a worthy organization, and my duties included sitting at the front desk, greeting people, and entering data on a computer. One day, a man came into the office. He was early for his appointment. As he sat down, he said, “How’s that computer working out for you?” “It’s great!” I responded, “When it works. When it doesn’t work, it’s not so great.”

At that, this stranger proceeded to relate a story, which I am happy to share with you now:

He said, “I have a friend, who had a problem with her computer, so she telephoned for technical help. When the computer technician started to explain how my friend should repair the problem, she didn’t understand his instructions at all, so she said, “Wait a minute. My five-year-old son is really good with computers. Let me put him on the phone with you”---which she promptly did.

The five year-old easily understood what the instructor was telling him, and followed his directions step by step. The little fellow had no problem at all, until the technician said, “Now, press the Command Key with your right hand.” “Okay! Okay! Okay!” said the child, and then he shouted---“Mommy, Mommy, which one’s my right hand?”

I don’t think my stranger was the Lone Ranger, but he sure rode into town with a good story.

Esther Blumenfeld (Hi-yo Silver Away!)

QUE SERA SERA

A few years ago, I was invited to a black-tie affair in San Francisco, hosted by my friend, Bonnie---the foremost real estate agent for Victorian homes in that magnificent city. She welcomed 500 guests to her estate. They were fed by the staffs of three caterers, and entertained by three bands that rocked the rafters from 8:00 at night until the sun shone on stragglers the next day.

I wandered around the crowded house eves-dropping on conversations while admiring beautiful people in their designer gowns and tuxedos. Several women wore shoes that cost more than my airline ticket. When I climbed the stairs to the 3rd floor ballroom, it seemed as if all 500 guests were at the bar or gyrating on the dance floor. Many of them were plastered, but I was merely stuck to the wall, unable to move.

Several young women were shouting at one another above the din. One of them said, “I’ve been accepted to nursing school.” When asked about her boyfriend, she said, “I dumped him!” But she added, that she had recently purchased a boxer. I assumed she meant a dog, but wasn’t sure since I was in San Francisco.

Later in the evening, fresh entertainment arrived---a cartoonist, an opera singer and a palm reader. The guests, who hadn’t yet lost their hearing, gathered around the grand piano on the main floor, and others lined up to either get their likeness sketched or their palms read.

I spied the young woman from the ballroom standing in line with her friends waiting for the palm reader. I said to the young woman, “You really don’t need to wait, because I can read your palm.” “You can?” she said. “Yes,” I replied as she extended her hand. I asked for silence and gazed at her palm. I said, “You have recently traded in your boyfriend for a boxer.” Her friends gasped. She looked at me awestruck. “And,” I added, “You will go to nursing school, meet a nice doctor and have a happy life.” Then I left. I threw in that last part about the doctor and a happy life, because I got carried away with my forecasting ability, but thought it couldn’t hurt.

An hour later, I joined the sedate group around the piano. The opera singer had left, and I finally found a conversation worth joining. A woman tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Excuse me, I was upstairs and saw you reading that young woman’s palm.  I have to know. Are you psychic?” “No,” I replied, “I’m Jewish.” She looked very confused as she left to get another drink.

No one knows what the future will bring, so I recommend that people stay positive, open minded and hopeful. But if you want to guess about the future, remember what Niels Bohr said; “Prediction is very difficult, especially if it’s about the future.” Then there are gems such as:

“Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” (H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers 1927.)

“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” (Decca Records
Company rejecting the Beatles, 1962.)

“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” (Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943)
 
“And for the tourist who wants to get away from it all, Safaris in Viet Nam—a popular holiday for the 1960’s” (Newsweek)

Not a psychic in the bunch. Que Sera Sera.

Esther Blumenfeld (“Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.” Grover Cleveland, U.S. President 1905)

WHO DO YOU TRUST?

I have a friend who has been an extremely successful business woman for many years. However, when I recently called her, I was surprised when she told me that she had made a mistake, and felt very naive, because she had trusted the wrong people.
I comforted her by saying, “Hey! You are just like Julius Caesar.  He trusted his pal Brutus. However, you can pull the knife out of your back, and live for another day.”

She said, “Oh, Esther!” That did not stop me!  I replied, “Think of all of those smart people who placed their blind faith, and money, in the hands of a man who had a reputation that inspired nothing but trust.  Bernie Madoff was sent to jail—- when he confessed to a $65 billion Ponzi Scheme.  His investors should have read their coins before sending them to him.”
My friend cheered up a bit when she replied, “Luckily I didn’t lose that kind of money, and my business is still intact.”

So, how does one know who to trust? All of us, at one time or another have placed our trust in the wrong person. In business, a handshake used to be good enough when your word was your bond. Unfortunately, times have changed, and now you need an attorney to read the fine print.

I told my friend that she shouldn’t be so hard on herself. After all, her boo-boo wasn’t as bad as the one by Neville Chamberlin, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (1937-1940) who adopted a policy of appeasement toward Nazi Germany. After a brief visit with Adolph Hitler,
He came home and assured his constituents of “Peace in our time.” Obviously, he had trusted the wrong person, when in less than a year Poland was over-run and it marked the  beginning of World War II.

I guess there are only two reasons not to trust people because either:

 You don’t know them, or
  You know them.

“Fool me once shame on you!  Fool me twice, I should have seen it coming!”

If all else fails, the best advice is written on the small change in your wallet.  Take a look!

Esther Blumenfeld