FACE TO FACE

Years ago, there was a saying, “Children should be seen and not heard.” In 2026, a recent study found that “adults over the age of 25 are using 314 fewer words per day, and younger folks are using 451 fewer words.” It seems as if we are letting technology talk for us. 

Research published in PERSPECTIVES ON PSYCHOLOGICAL SCIENCE by Valeria Pfeifer and Matthias R. Mehl illustrated the lost interactions—which we often call “small talk”—have been replaced by technology.  So, why does this matter? After all, some people are so stupid that it’s a blessing when they don’t talk to you. Perhaps restraint is good if human beings are still in control. Maybe it’s dumb luck when you don’t have to listen to too many words. However, capability should not outrun control. Social connection should be more than digital messaging.

Along with diminished words, people texting are missing cues by not making eye contact, and emojis worn’t really let you know what the other person is really thinking.  Communication involves congregating with other people.  When a person use a touchscreen, or self check-outs, or digital ordering of goods there really is no need to speak out loud.  You don’t even have to talk to yourself.  However, the less real time you share with other people chance are the more isolated you may feel.  Also, laughing by yourself isn’t as much fun as hearing your friend’s voice and laughing together.

Isolation does’t build relationships. As a matter of fact, missing cues by not seeing the face of the person with whom you are communicating can lead to misunderstandings such as, “I really never knew him before I married him.” There’s something gained by talking with someone face to face. Of course there’s something positive about losing lots of words.  You won’t have to remember them.

Social media is a lot like a Covid  epidemic when it comes to really meeting people. Cues are missed by not reading facial expressions, and feelings of isolation set in when you realize you and your screen are really alone.

When Covid vaccinations were finally developed residents of my Senior Residence were once again encouraged to come out of the isolation of our apartments, and  to gather and have dinner in the dining rooms. Tables were set far apart and a table that normally seated six people was set to serve two.  Consequently, the conversations around the room consisted of 
“What?”  “What?”  Maybe, texting would have been useful, because we were sitting too far apart to communicate, but it was so much fun to laugh with others again.

So here’s the message:  The more we learn about technology, the more restraint we should demand while humans are still in control, and the spoken word isn’t diminished to a  big WHAT? with no answer because we’ve lost the words.

Esther Blumenfeld