DULL AS DISHWATER

A couple of days ago, I read a letter in the newspaper that was sent to a person who answers readers questions. The question was from a reader who suffers from boredom.  The expert’s answer was that, “You need more stimulation,” and he proceeded to offer some suggestions.

His first suggestion was: “Talk to another person.” Of course that conversation just could be “mind numbing” if the person you are talking to is “dull as dishwater.”  In other words if you talk with someone who is the “dimmest bulb in the chandelier,” obviously it won’t help your boredom. 

The second suggestion was to “Read a book.” I read lots of books, but I prefer to read a book that holds my attention.  A boring book can be worse than a boring person, but you can always put it down before you are “bored out of your skull.”

Many people think that thumbs are an excellent way to combat boredom if you use them for texting.  After all, you don’t have to talk to anyone, and when you are finished, you can always “twiddle your thumbs.”  The expert then wrote that it is always stimulating to learn something new such as learning to play the piano.  My parents survived my piano lessons, because everyday my Mother told me that I had practiced enough, but one of my piano teachers had a nervous breakdown.  I guess my fingers on the keys were “mind numbing.” I was also told by my 4th grade art teacher that my rendition of a dinosaur  was the worst she had ever seen. She was probably right since she was old enough to have seen one.

Another cure for boredom, according to the newspaper expert, was to “Take a Walk.”  In Tucson, taking a walk is never boring especially if it’s 110 degrees outside, or if you are strolling in a Monsoon downpour.  A walk on a path can also be exciting if you step on a rattlesnake. If that “does nothing for you” you are indeed easily bored.

His final suggestion was to “Do a household chore.”  This was a dangerous suggestion, because household chores can cause someone  to become “bored stiff” which makes her rigid.   If a person is “bored to death” it means that being bored actually feels painful, and makes you want to cry.  Of course, to me, a little crying sounds much better than cleaning a toilet.

The newspaper expert came to the conclusion that boredom is really a good thing. “To make the world more stimulating, bored people throughout time have made skyscrapers, music, poetry, movies, cities, submarines etc.”  I especially liked the submarine analogy, because if you are really bored why not take a deep dive into creativity.  It’s got to be more fun than “watching paint dry.”

Esther Blumenfeld