WHAT'S IN A NAME?

When I turned 65, my Father told me that he didn’t feel old until he had a daughter  collecting Social Security. He also said, “Yesterday, something terrible happened.”  I said, “What happened?”  And, he replied, “I forgot someone’s name.” Relieved, I responded, “Dad, don’t worry, that happens to me all the time.”  Whereupon,  the man with the phenomenal memory, said, “It doesn’t happen to me!”

My Father knew that names are important, especially as we age, because as people get older, sometimes, they feel invisible. However, if you know someone’s  name, it reminds him that he is still somebody worth remembering. I will never forget the time I went to Buffalo, New York to visit my elderly,  Aunt Ruth. One evening a herd of family came to her home, and we were having a grand old time laughing and talking.  Then, when there was a lull in the conversation, Aunt Ruth said, “I’m here too.” She felt invisible.

Now, I am a really old person living in a Senior Residence.  I make it a point to remember people’s names. I remember so many other things…why not their names? Hacienda at the Canyon (where I live) is a big place with 500 residents. So, that’s a hell of a lot of names to remember—not to mention the names of the employees who work here, and NO, the residents don’t wear name tags.  That is a good thing, because I really don’t want some near-sighted guy staring at my chest. I’d rather have him forget my name!

Going through the resident directory, I came across nine Nancys, nine Judys, six James, six Anns, eight  Carols, six Marys and eleven Barbaras, and I skipped the twos, threes, fours and fives. Happily, there is only one other Esther in the package, but I make it memorable for people when I tell them, “She is the nice Esther.”

Of course, there are tricks to remembering names.  Going through the alphabet helps, or association such as when I see a woman named Elizabeth I think of Queen Elizabeth. However, one must be sure, because that can get tricky.  If you think of a  President, you have to be sure to get the right one and not call someone Abe when his name is George.

The lapses are normal, but really aggravating when you know a person’s name, she is walking toward you, and you cannot recall it. Her name is somewhere buried in your mind just waiting until she passes you, to pop up. I then run to my apartment and write her name on a pad  of paper, since it helps me to see the written word one more time. I have gotten pretty good at remembering names, but it gets more complicated when I am also supposed to remember the names of their pets too—such as Bella, Baby, Duke and Archie.

Sometimes, it’s not only a forgotten name, but also a word which is buried somewhere to be found. This is normal, since when we sleep hundreds of words are discarded from the brain only to be retrieved at another time.  It makes sense that the older you get, the more words are in there, and if you remembered every word when you need it, your head would probably explode. Unfortunately, sometimes selective memory isn’t selective enough.

So, if you tell a joke and your grandchild  says, “Grandpa, you’ve told that story before.”  It’s good to say, “It bares repeating, because, it was obviously  good enough for you to remember.”

 Esther Blumenfeld