A Line In The Sand

For several days, my friend Fay was stalking a large lizard. Somehow he had gotten into her house and decided to take up residence in her territory. She’d see him climbing up a wall in the kitchen, peering down at her from the ceiling in her bedroom and racing across the floor---any floor he chose.  She finally trapped him behind the toilet, put a box over his wriggling body and unceremoniously threw him outside—shouting, “Never darken my door again!”

All of us protect our personal space. No one likes to be backed against a wall face to face with an animated conversationalist---especially if she spits when she talks.

The 22.96 square miles of Manhattan (New York not Kansas) has a daytime population of 3.94 million residents, commuters and visitors, and they all feel the need to establish boundaries---not an easy thing to do on the subway at rush hour. So the rule is don’t talk, don’t look, and if you value your life, do not touch!

A case in point: A friend of mine was in Manhattan. She tapped a woman on the shoulder and said, “Excuse me, can you please tell me the time.” The woman whirled around and yelled, “Never touch anyone in New York City!” To this day, my friend still doesn’t know what time it was.

My husband, Warren believed that when visiting an alien place you should follow the customs, so when he was in New York and a fellow shouted, “Hey, Buddy, where’s the subway?” Warren pointed down at the sidewalk and kept right on walking.

When a singer in a club came to my table and said, “Doll, do you have a request?” I said, “Yes, go away!” He was in my space.

Minding one’s own business is annoying to some people. They are the ones with intrusive questions such as, “Did you make a lot of money on that play?” Are those your real teeth, How much do you weigh? And, “Why are you leaving?”

When establishing boundaries, you can always tell someone to meet you outside and then lock the door, but that is hard to do if you are lying on a deserted beach, enjoying the solitude and the sound of the waves, and a family with 5 Frisbee playing children spread their blanket right next to yours.

Noel Coward would have said, “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

Esther Blumenfeld (“The problem with people is that they’re only human.”) Bill Watterson