BUYER BEWARE

“If the disclosure of information is necessary to prevent an ad from being deceptive, the disclosure has to be clear and conspicuous.”  This is the Federal Trade Commission’s (FTC) law enforcement of “full disclosure.” This means that consumers should not have to be speed readers, own a magnifying glass or try to read white text on a light or variegated background.
Yes, I am talking about ads on your television screen.

Consequently, since there aren’t too many good shows on TV, I decided to— not put my nose to the grindstone— but rather to the television screen to find out what some of these mini-disclosers tell us.  Here’s what I discovered:

AD:  “Thanks to the superior safety features of this car, the owner was able to walk away from the accident.”  SMALL PRINT:  “actual crash results may vary”

AD:  “Can install shower in one day.”  SMALL PRINT: “Some installments take longer.”

After claiming that a pill will help lapses in memory, the SMALL PRINT said,”Individuals are paid for testimonials.” And, another pill product with the same claims for boosting memory, added the hard-to-read disclaimer, “Results in compliance with lifetime changes.” Whatever that means. I did not ever see a tiny declaimer about the placebo effect.

There are many snake-oil medications pushed on TV viewers. I know this because the small print often has a version of: “Call your doctor if you develop a fever, chills, indigestion, bleeding or death.”  I guess at that point it’s too late to read the small print. Then there’s “This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.”  By the way, “It has not been approved by the FDA (Food and Drug Administration.)”

Yes, there are many disclaimers for Beauty Products: An AD for toothpaste had this tiny print disclosure about the woman with beautiful teeth: “This model is for illustrative purposes only. Results may vary.” Also, on other products such as diet claims you may read, “Effects are temporary and vary by individual”  Or they tell you to not eat so much and exercise along with their unapproved by FDA products.

Then there are the faux attorneys and doctors, and money managers.  The small print will tell you that they are fakes because they are required to tell you in teeny weeny letters that “Dramatization by an actor not an actual attorney, doctor or money guy.” Then there are the insurance benefits or class action actions…Small print: ‘Insurance benefits vary by plans and not available in all states”…and “Actor portrayal.” With actor money-managers the small print was too fast to read, but I am sure they said  something like “Don’t blame the actor if you lose all of your money.”

My favorite disclosure appeared after an episode of the show THE SIMPSONS on television.
The disclosure was in big print and ran slowly across the screen:

“No dogs were harmed during the production of this episode. A cat threw up and somebody shot a duck, but that’s it!”

Esther Blumenfeld