THE NOT SO GOOD FIGHT

At first, I thought, “What’s the matter with my television set?” Then, I thought, “Am I going totally nuts?” CBS was gaslighting me with a disembodied voice, but the voice wasn’t on every program on that network, nor was it on any other channel. The voice was just speaking on one program—the newly introduced—THE GOOD FIGHT,  Episode One. The voice was not on, THE GOOD FIGHT,  Episode Two, which immediately followed Episode One.

It went something like this: “The lawyer enters the office. His secretary smiles and tells him he has a phone call. He rushes to his office, and finds someone sitting at his desk. It isn’t him!”

“Okay," I thought, “Some know-it-all must think that everything that is happening has to be explained, but this is really annoying!”

Then, I remembered that a few days ago, the same thing happened when I was watching a cooking contest on the FOX Network. “Phoebe, brings her dish to the judges table. One judge grimaces. The second judge throws Phoebe’s dish into the bushes. Another judge utters a profanity.” But at the time, I thought this was pretty normal for Fox, and I also thought “Phoebe is toast.”

I know about closed captioning on TV for people with hearing disabilities, but those written captions are on every channel, on every station and even on every commercial. This was something else—a selective, anonymous voice that turned up—at will—only occasionally.

So, to check my sanity, I asked Mr. Google “How do I get rid of a voice-over on CBS?” With great relief, I saw that the question had been asked by many other irritated viewers, but both the cause and the solution were nebulous.  Next, I called my semi-trustworthy Comcast provider.

The first technician I reached was one of the few people left in Honduras. We had trouble communicating, so I hung up and tried again. The second technician was the only other person left in Honduras. He had never heard of this problem, but said that I might be picking up on someone else’s signal, so he booted up my system (on my TV—not me!)  After the booting, the problem was gone.

A few days later, I once more turned my television station to CBS to watch THE GOOD FIGHT, and again, a voice said, “The lawyer enters the room with an annoyed expression on his face.” NOT AS ANNOYED AS MINE!

Yes, I called Comcast again. This time I reached a young woman in the Philippines. She told me that she did not know why this was happening on only one program, but instructed me on the intricacies of turning off all disembodied voices on my television set. So far, it has worked.

I can just imagine if this had happened to someone watching a football game: “He’s got the ball. He’s  running with the ball. The crowd is cheering. He fumbles the ball. The crowd groans. A man in the stands is shouting. His face turns red. The Quarterback looks offended.”

Or, what about a news show where the voice explains: “The President promises this. The President promises that. Congress promises that and this. The President vetoes that but will go with this.”

The voice chokes up. Your TV blows up and it’s time to read a good book.

Esther Blumenfeld