BUYER BEWARE

Often, people will ask me, “Where do you find your ideas?” My answer is, “Everywhere.”

Years ago, there was an ad in the Atlanta newspaper.  It read: “Car for sale. Good condition. Also for sale, a very small Chihuahua. $1500.00 for both the car and the dog, or $1800.00 for the car only.”

Recently, I read that Hugh Hefner is putting his Playboy Mansion on the Market. The catch is that whoever buys the place will have to take Mr. Hefner along with the deal, since “staying on the premises” is a condition of the sale. Perhaps, the real estate agent should place an ad that reads: “For sale, Playboy Mansion. Also for sale, 89-year-old Playboy. $150 million for both, or $200 million for the house only.” The latest newsflash is that the old hustler, Larry Flynt might want to buy the house, but he doesn’t want his nemesis wandering about in his pajamas. 

If Hefner gets his way and someone buys him along with the house, the idea just might catch on. I can see it now. You are offered the purchase of a boat at a really good price, and you buy that boat at a price that is really too good to be true. However, when you are out in the middle of the lake, you notice that some guy is in the galley drinking your beer. You call the previous owner, and say, “I paid you for the boat. It’s mine. I’m out in the middle of the lake and some guy is in my galley drinking my beer. What’s up?”

“Well,” the previous owner replies. “You got the boat cheap and now it’s yours, but you also got my brother-in-law. He lived off of me for years, and now he’s yours. It’s all part of the deal."

Or, perhaps you purchase a really cheap first class airline ticket to Las Vegas. Right before the plane takes off, an old lady sits in your lap. You ask the flight attendant. “What’s going on?” She replies, “Oh, that’s the travel agent’s mother. She’s always wanted to go to Las Vegas.  You purchased her along with your ticket. Fasten your seatbelt around both of you. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

And then there’s the kid sitting in the seat of your grocery-shopping cart. There will be no end to the opportunities presented when Hefner sets the precedent for the “I’m part of the sale” rule. But I digress.

I assume that if someone buys the Playboy Mansion and allows Mr. Hefner to be part of the closing, the new owner will impose a few rules such as, “You can stay, but I don’t want Flopsy or Mopsy doing the Bunny-hop in my house before 10 a.m.”

Esther Blumenfeld  (Todos Tem Um Preco)