LOOK WHO'S COMING FOR DINNER
Friday, July 17, 2026 at 11:47AM
Esther Blumenfeld


The headline of a Reuter’s news story recently caught my attention, “Cannibalism is bad for your health, scientists find,” which made me think, “It’s not so good for the other guy either.”
Michal Misiak of the University of Wroclaw, and Petr Turecek of Charles University in Prague, used a mathematical model to do their study. They found that eating people leads to population collapse, because eating your neighbors could make you sick.

They also discovered that, “from a caloric perspective, a person turns out to be an average meal.”  Not for vegetarians he doesn’t ! And they also found out,  that when cannibals eat other cannibals, even cooking, doesn’t improve the meal.  And, these days, who’s got a microwave even big enough for left overs?

Once it was common among the Fore People of Papua New Guinea to cook and eat deceased relatives— believing that they freed their spirits. However, I’m not sure that a troublesome in-law wouldn’t cause indigestion—or get stuck in your teeth.

All of these problems connected to cannibalism led to the strongest taboos for humans.  Dr. Misiak said, “Taboo acts as an evolutionary safeguard.”  

Consequently,  it really is better for you to eat with a friend rather than serving her on a plate.  And, in good conscience you can throw your Tums away.

The scientists ended the article with this wise conclusion:

“Communities that didn’t curb cannibalism simply didn’t survive.”  

Thanks so much Michal and Petr.  I think I’ll have a kosher hotdog.

Esther Blumenfeld


Article originally appeared on Humor Writer (https://www.ebnimble.com/).
See website for complete article licensing information.