UPS AND DOWNS

When we first moved to Tucson twenty-two years ago, my husband, Warren and I were invited to a July wedding held at a fancy resort. Wine and hors d’oeuvres were served in a beautifully well-appointed parlor. We felt mellow and satisfied, until it was announced that the ceremony was to be held out-of-doors. Did I mention that it was July? I failed to mention that the outdoor temperature was a toasty 110 degrees.

When escorted to our seats, the usher whispered, “Bride’s side? Or Groom’s side?” Whereupon, Warren removed his tie and said, “Shady side!” It was definitely a “Piranha day.” That’s what I call a day that starts out with a lot of promise, and ends up with an aggravation that can, like the small voracious fish, attack and devour what might have been a good day.

When we lived in Chicago, one of the neighbors in our building saw a couple of men carrying oriental rugs. She said, “Oh, if you are taking those rugs to be cleaned, could you take ours too?” “Sure,” said one of the men. “We’d be glad to.” He gave her a receipt and they loaded the valuable rugs onto a truck---never to be seen again. The robbers had a movable feast. The rug owner suffered a Piranha day.

My father-in-law was a dentist. One of his patients came to have her teeth cleaned. As he was examining her mouth, he congratulated her on her pregnancy. I’m not sure if that counts as a Piranha day or not, because it was the first inkling she had that she was pregnant. Her gums had given the secret away.

We all experience ups and downs, but it’s good to know just how upset to become when a Piranha day attacks. When a couple came to our house all dressed up and ready to party, I greeted them at the door wearing my bathrobe. No, it wasn’t a pajama party. They had just arrived a day early. I invited them in. We ordered pizza and drank their bottle of wine. They told me that they were going to bring another bottle tomorrow, so I wasn’t even aggravated. It was very good wine!

Last night, my automatic garage door went up, but when I returned home (and it was very late and very dark outside) the door refused to go back down. I called a kind friend and neighbor who lowered the heavy metal door manually. He gave me a consoling hug and chased the Piranha away. The next day the “Always Open and Shut” garage door company came to fix the door (one more time.) They informed me “Your sensor has to be replaced.” It could have been worse. After all, it was a sensor in the door’s brain and not mine---just one of those ups and mechanical downs in the Piranha fish tank of life.

Esther Blumenfeld (Have a good day!)