UNINVITED PESTS

Little ground squirrels have suddenly taken a great liking to my front yard. They are very cute until holes start appearing in the turf—mine!—-not theirs! So, not being an animal killer, I have tried various recommended methods to rid myself of my unwanted visitors.

First, I tried mothballs.That worked until the tiny critters learned how to kick them out of their holes.  I don’t know how many  ground squirrels it takes to make a team, but if my bushes were goal posts, I know that several touchdowns were in the making, and I can just see the little pests waving their tails and cheering their team to victory. Now, my yard was filled with tiny, white, smelly lumps that looked like snowballs. I knew it wasn’t snow, because we don’t get snow in Tucson in the summer, and it didn’t melt.

Okay! A box of mothballs cost $6.00. I had purchased two of them. No big deal. Next, I tried coyote urine, and No! I didn’t hike into the mountains, holding a bottle, looking for incontinent coyotes. Coyote urine can be purchased in liquid form (Yuck!) or granules. So, I purchased a bottle of coyote urine granules, and scattered them into and around the wee ground squirrel habitat. That worked for a week. However, the instructions said that I needed to repeat the treatment several times to get good results. At $20.00 a pop, I wasn’t going to repeat this treatment after figuring out how many ground squirrels I could purchase for $20.00.

Oh, Yes, coyote urine is also a repellent against deer.  I am happy to report that no deer are digging holes into my yard.

So, now I have called upon my common sense and said said to myself, “If I were a ground squirrel, sitting in a hole, what would discourage my digging habit?” And, my solution is HOT SAUCE! I purchased the biggest, baddest, hottest bottle of Red Mexican Hot Sauce I could find in the grocery store for $3.00. When I opened the bottle, I put some of the sauce on my finger, and then my lower lip, and hightailed my way to the refrigerator to get a cube of ice.

The little squirrel pits are now filled with hot sauce, and my yard looks as if someone had committed a very pungent murder. This morning I found a pretty big…”Let’s get the Hell out of here exit hole,” and I haven’t seen any more holes since. Hopefully, the ground squirrels will find my neighbor’s yard more hospitable.

I just hope that tomorrow I won’t find little pests sitting in my yard, eating tacos and singing, “Vaya Con Dios My Darling,” and shouting “HOLA!” at passing cars.

Esther Blumenfeld